signs of unsupportive family members

Dealing With Unsupportive Family Members

How to deal with unsupportive family members? My immediate response is, DON’T! And for the most part, I stand by that. If someone, even a loved one, doesn't rock with you, leave 'em alone. But I think this topic deserves a deeper look to determine the potential reasons behind the family's lack of support.
haters PA-C

Unsupportive family members can hurt deep. Even deeper when the people we love dearly also do not believe in us.

But you know what, they don’t have to. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Sucks, I agree, but true.

There can be many reasons why loved ones are unsupportive, including:

Jealousy/Envy

I mean, there’s not much to explain here. If this is the case, you’ll know it and feel it. Unfortunately, this also means you’ll have to love those people from afar. It hurts like hell but is crucial to survival. Someone “hating” on you, even family, is capable of UGLY things. Trust that God will send you THE dopest tribe to make up for it. That tribe will consist of at least one friend who is closer than a relative. The others are typically a few unexpected but loyal tribesmen/tribeswomen, each serving a different purpose. At least that’s how it worked for me 😉.

Life is so much better when you’re the crab that makes it out of the barrel. Purge yourself of that toxicity!

It doesn’t look like what you expected

They support you, it’s just not what you had in mind. For various reasons, mom couldn’t be at your white coat ceremony, but she FaceTimed, watched online, and sent a care package to celebrate. Best friend couldn’t make it to the graduation, but he/she was there with you through every meltdown with a pep talk to get you through the grueling 27+ months. They were. and still are, your biggest encourager/cheerleader. Like many things in life, support doesn’t always come in the way we expect. What matters is that they show up when it matters most.

They don’t understand

It can be difficult to support what is not understood. Maybe your loved ones don’t understand the PA profession or your why. Especially if this is a career change and/or leaving a more lucrative position. Repeated attempts to explain (which you don’t owe anyone 🤨) as best as you can is futile. In this case, I find it necessary to set clear, firm boundaries and limit what you share, if anything.

They can’t

We all have life going on. Sometimes it’s not that they don’t care, but life is so hectic they don’t have the energy to show love. It’s not personal; they’re just trying to keep their own lives from falling apart.

It could be you

  • To my fellow creatives who start numerous projects that seldom reach completion; your family loves and supports you, they just can’t remember what they are supporting this time 🙃. Once again, it’s not personal, 🤷🏾‍♀️, it’s just hard to keep up with your many projects. 
  • It’s possible that your attitude is the problem; a lifetime of harshness and pushing people away makes others prefer to support you from afar.
  • It could be that you talk a good game but seldom follow through with action. 
  • Maybe you’re a people-pleaser and this is a life lesson that 1) you can do this on your own and 2) it’s okay to do you!
  • There are various other “you” reasons why they may not show love. All of which requires self-awareness which is acquired over time, assuming you don’t have it already.

But for now, you are on your own. Just you, G-d, and your vision/why. Which is all you need, really 😌; the support is just a perk. Stay focused. What you need will come in time.

In a nutshell, 

You don’t need to go on a journey of self-discovery nor ask (or demand 😒) your loved ones why they don’t support you the way you want them to. The important takeaway here is that there are some roads we just have to travel alone and meet others along the way.

unsupportive family quotes

If you’re coming from an environment where you believe no one supports or cares about you, it’s time for a fresh start. Work with what you’ve got for now. Surely G-d hasn’t left you hanging, and even if it seems that way, it must mean you already have everything you need. 

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