Mom Guilt… Probably one of the biggest hurdles to overcome. First day of school, traveling, going back to work/school… the list goes on and on. Whenever we have to be away from our kids, this overwhelming sense of, “I shouldn’t be anywhere else but with my baby” takes over sending us on this emotional rollercoaster. We cry, kick, scream and shout at the thought of someone else caring for our children other than us. Let’s be real, nobody can take care of your baby like you can. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way but how the heck do you get over it? … Honestly, maybe you never do. But you will have to push through it. Here are few of my takes on how to overcome the mom guilt.
Stop the comparisons
You are not them and they are not you. It doesn’t matter that Mrs. Jones owns a business, is in night school, and a lawyer on her “free time” but still makes it to all of her kids extracurricular activities with a smile on her face and the body of a gymnast. That is Mrs. Jones’ business and for all we know she has 5 million ulcers from all the stress. Quit it with all the shoulda, coulda, woulda and take pride in who you are. You’re an amazing woman and mother. If you weren’t than you wouldn’t be reading this article, finding ways to overcome the guilt of not being at home with your babies.
SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
You know why you made the decision to go back to school. Now write it down somewhere that is easily accessible. Whether it be a screen saver on your phone, a little note in your wallet, a daily reminder in your planner …. Inscribe it in the depths of your memory and Never forget it. Every time you feel overwhelmed or you feel like quitting or you feel guilty and that you’re a horrible mom… go back to your little note and remember why you started on this journey in the first place.
Tune out the haters
Everyone has an opinion about how you should be living your life. You can be doing everything right and someone will try to find a way to rain on your parade. Forget them (I’m thinking of another F word). Let these people sulk in their misery ALONE, while you continue to be a fierce ambitious woman who is raising a family and chasing her dream. Give them something to talk about by continuing to shine.
Take it easy on yourself
You are not superwoman nor do you have to be. Please understand that it is not mandatory for you to be the valedictorian and a perfect wife and mom. If you are than kudos to you, but if not … than still kudos to you! Life is not perfect, PA School has a way of reminding you of that. If you didn’t get an A on the last exam or the laundry wasn’t done this week, then OH WELL! Hell didn’t freeze over and the sky is still intact so lighten up. Take each day one step at a time and do your best, that’s all anyone can ever ask of you… And that is all you can do.
You Must Plan
If you want more time with your husband and children than you must plan for it. It’s so easy to get consumed in the day to day of life. Be intentional about scheduling quality time with your family. Family Dinners, date nights, game nights, movie night, beach time, puzzles, arts&crafts … whatever it is that you guys enjoy, make it happen. At least once a week there needs to be a day completely devoted to them and about an hour a day throughout the week. PA school seems like an eternity, but the time does go by very quickly. Every moment you get to just be a wife and/or mom, enjoy it and make the most of it.
You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Your children are witnessing the hard work it takes to achieve a goal. A woman is an amazing mother whether she chooses to stay at home and raise her children or fulfill a career goal. Don’t be such a tough critic on yourself. Your kids have a bad @$$ mommy and you should be proud every day you wake up to attack this dream.